November 25, 2024
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How humor gets rid of hard times
When life feels difficult, humor can be a stress-relieving and breathing mechanism to keep you going, scientists say.
Three psychologists enter a bar to form a funny toast to the power of humor. Or rather, I picked up the phone and called each of them about the matter. (I’m terrible at telling jokes.) But these psychologists really want people to understand the role humor can play in helping them deal with stress, anger, fear, anxiety, and other difficult emotions. Sometimes that means deliberately embracing humor when things are going well, building up defenses against the tough times ahead. And sometimes, laugh spontaneously when you want to cry or make an absurd joke when you feel like the sky is falling The earth is on fire.
“There’s this unconscious autopilot way that a lot of people do humor without thinking about it,” says Steven Sultanoff, a clinical psychologist and adjunct professor at Pepperdine University. “It’s a strategic coping mechanism, but it’s not conscious.”
To psychologists, a coping mechanism It’s any behavior or thinking that someone uses to cope with stress, says Janet Gibson, a psychologist and professor emeritus at Grinnell College. Not all of these strategies are beneficial, he says: drinking or binge eating, for example, are more dangerous coping mechanisms.
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But humor is a powerful way to manage stressors, which “activates how we feel, how we think, how we act, and our physiology,” says Sultanoff. Humor does the same thing, just in a different direction.
Stress can make someone feel anxious or angry; humor replaces that feeling with a moment of joy, lightness, surprise, or connection. In many situations, “when you’re experiencing humor, you can’t live distressing emotions“says Sultanoff. “These emotions dissolve.” Stress can also reduce one’s thinking about a situation, while humor taps into creativity that allows for a shift in perspective.
And of course, there is the physical embodiment of humor: the laughs. It comes with him better breathing, muscle relaxation and a greater pain tolerancepotentially triggered by the release of endorphins. “The stress is there; you don’t feel it as much,” says Gibson.
Humor is also inherently social. “We crave connection, especially when we’re feeling heightened levels of stress,” says Vassar College psychologist Michele Tugade.
Of course, humor isn’t foolproof: making the wrong joke in the wrong way will increase stress and disconnection. “Bad or derogatory humor actually drives people further apart and increases division,” says Tugad.
Humor can arise in times of stress without a person making any effort to cause it, or necessarily understanding where it comes from or why. But humor can also be cultivated, Sultanoff says, adding that he uses it as a conscious way to lighten the mood and build connections with the people around him. He says he travels with a the clown nose to make it easier to find fun in the ordinary moments of life. “The joyful use of humor creates psychological antibodies,” he says.
Despite the occasional clown nose, embracing humor doesn’t mean subscribing to toxic positivity. The point is never to feel difficult emotions, says Tugad. “Stress is there for a reason, and it’s to call attention to a problem that needs to be solved,” he says. “When you experience a negative emotion like sadness or anger or frustration, it’s important to know why it’s there.” Turning to humor too soon can prevent someone from processing emotions in a healthy way, increasing stress rather than reducing it, he added.
Instead, consider expressing humor in moderation and as a moment of relief between a seemingly constant onslaught of headlines and hard feelings. “You don’t deny that there are some problems in the world and there is a lot of despair and grief,” says Tugad. “It’s about giving yourself a break. And we all need a little rest.”
