“You know that weeds will grow in the garden, so you just have to be aware of this if you want to have a good garden and regularly scan for weeds and take them out where they exist,” he said.
Repairs are reduced to three simple steps.
Be aware of when repairs needed
When a student influences the student, this can often be the first sign of a destroyed relationship, according to Stewart. Some examples are, if a student who is usually output to you has become more exhausted or a student who often congratulates you at the beginning of the class, no longer does it.
Teachers should be aware and notice the changes in their student’s behavior or emotional state.
Address it directly and talk to the student
The next step is to deal with the potential conflict by talking directly to the student, according to Stewart.
The student can be drawn aside briefly in the hallway or during independent work, he suggests. The teacher can indicate the change in the student and ask, “Is there anything I should be aware?” And “Did I do something that led to this change?”
Recognizing that there may be a problem can help repair the connection.
“The very removal of this is … the lion’s share of the work for repair,” Stewart said. “I find that in many cases addressing the change and asking if I did something will help.”
Get accountability and talk about what you can do better next time
The third step is to admit if they did something to cause damage.
“Teachers, we’re not perfect,” Stewart said.
Be self -aware and think about whether something is said too rough or said in a way that caused confusion. According to Stewart, it sounds like: “Yesterday I corrected the behavior of the task I saw you do, but I just don’t feel good about the way I did it, and I want to say I’m sorry.”
Stewart says these three steps require minimal work and can lead to a more enjoyable learning environment for both the teacher and the student.
“I never try to be … the best friends or to be the best teacher of my students, but I’m just trying to make it easy, a productive experience,” he said.
Re-restor
Clay cook He says that most teachers believe in the power of relationships, but traditionally schools do not have a common language or dedicated practices for deliberately growing these relationships.
This has led Cook to design the maintenance of a school base, called “Creating a Restor” (EMR), in the classroom can accept and apply frameworks and practical teachers. Cook is the CEO for a Strong character development, an organization that trains EMR teachers that encourages healthy relationships by establishing relationships, maintaining these relationships and restoring a relationship if there is any damage.
Science shows that every relationship – whether it is a couple, one with an employer or teacher and their students – often deteriorates over time, especially when participating countries do not work to maintain this relationship, Cook said.
“Misunderstanding, conflicts, disagreements … These things can hurt a relationship,” Cook said. “And that’s why you need to be intentional at the back end so you can repair and repair it.”
According to Cook, the EMR method encourages teachers to participate in a deliberate reflection of relationships. Teachers fill in reflection forms to determine which students are in “establishment”, which means that the relationship still needs to be formed. Students in “maintenance” means that there is a connection but must be encouraged. And those in “recovery” means that the teacher must repair relationships with these students.
Cook says these four skillful communication techniques can help during the repair conversation:
Launch
Young people often think that adults are keen on dissatisfaction after doing something and that these things are behaving against them, he said.
“And when you look, many adults make Keep what the students have said or done in their environment, and they don’t let it go, “Cook said.
He said the rental conversation must be authentic and real in order for the student to believe what you are saying.
Ownership
Young people respond well when adults take over property, Cook said. Teachers who recognize their role in causing conflict or disagreement show that “they are not in a soap box, that two people are needed for each interaction.”
He said it was not about taking the only guilt or lifting one person against another.
Win-Win
Cook said it is also important to cooperate how to improve the relationship during repair.
“We … we will say,” Hey, whatever happens, doesn’t work for both sides. I think we can gather our brain and come up with a way we do not repeat (this conflict) in the future, “he said.
In this way, the student can share his feelings and ideas on how to move forward and be part of the decision. Teachers can also track their perspectives and offer solutions.
Separation of the case from the contractor
Cook says that many young people think that adults do not care for them or do not determine who they are in their behavior.
By dividing the “case” from the “justified”, the teacher gives students to know that they have an inherent value and redeemed qualities and that their behavior does not determine who they are.
“We will still keep the students responsible for the behavior, but we do not want the student to lose sight … who they are,” Cook said. He added that in education it was not just about building bonds with each other, but also about quality From these connections.
