It’s Monday, and my alarms at 6:00, Groggily got up, already during the day in my head. I am a business teacher, so I have a full class program to teach, to respond to emails and investigate deadlines before starting, but before I start working, I need to think about another 100 things
Has my son gave her gear on her lacrosse game? It will be starved when home reaches home. What do we have in the fridge? I make a mental note to check before you leave.
Then my daughter is a knee depth in college applications. We have programmed campus visits and we spent a few weeks talking about applications and reviewing economic opportunities. It is stressed and that means I stressed it.
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And my oldest – he’s doing well in college classes, but I can say something. Is it just normal pressure of being a young adult, or something else is going on? When was the last time we had a real interview? I have to get in with her.
When I made my coffee, I’ve already thought about my child’s schedules, their needs and well-being. Parents will not be easier to get? It is less than the physical care tasks that consume me in the smallest years, and is about emotional work, planning and problems.
That is sometimes called “invisible family load” “mental work“Invisible work” or “mental charge”. It is “Behind scenes”, keep at night “at work This is essential for the smooth functioning of families. However, it is often unnoticed and not supported, and so is it disproportionate women.
The conversation around the head load was more pronounced in 2017 Due to the cartoon Represent the invisible and tiring nature of the mother as a “home project manager”. Since then, many popular discussions Paint the wonderful image The invisible family load is a tiring burden on the end, energy burden and exhaustion, depression and anger that causes abuse and divorce of substances.
But is it true?
There was no scientific research at the time, so my colleagues and I decided Research a lot of theme. What we have learned to somehow reaffirm the well-known hypotheses, but other times they put it on the head. Lower line: Running the house is a work that can bleed our professional life, but it can also be rewarding.
Our research identified three types of invisible loads. Load Management It involves organizing, planning and organizing family activities or appointments, such as university visits, parties or holidays or daily family activities. Cognitive load To monitor the tasks, remember important dates, take decisions and predict future needs, such as maintaining all the academic, social and / or physical needs of the family, while buying all eggs and toilet paper. Emotional load It involves concern for the needs and well-being of family members, such as the health, well-being, or future of your children, to resolve siblings or having an emotional anchor of your family.
Our research found not so amazing. The women reported disproportionately than the higher levels of each type of invisible family load than men; And carrying a larger invisible charge than one’s partners reduce relationship and satisfaction there. People, especially mother, commented on “angry”, “they felt” angry “and felt” chronic mental load “in their relationships, and can be a contact problem.
We also found to carry high levels of emotional load, such as concerning family needs, such as a host of harmful problems, including poor sleep, feeling tired and smoking and in one’s family and in general.
One thing that really surprises us is that having a lot of emotional family loads does not affect only people and families, but it also flows into the work. Parents who wear high levels of emotional load are reported that the family interferes with work and they run out of work. Important, we saw these negative consequences after controlling the concerns of the people’s concerns.
There are good news, however. Managing the invisible family load is very negative, we found potential benefits. Some people told us that they enjoy being a “leader”, “find joy” caring for their families in these ways, “and they approach the family members. Our survey investigations confirm that when people find meaning and purpose when it remembers and decides the work of cognitive load, to encourage greater satisfaction and satisfaction in the life of the family. This does not mean that emotional load is not hard or frustrating, but people may also have the benefits of making cognitive load.
So how can you live more positives for the invisible family load?
Excessive concern: “What-IFS”, “Create a List of Concerns”, writes and reviews concerns for a limited time, constantly hugging a “enough” mindset, a well-adapted family that helps reduce unnecessary emotional load.
Play load as Leadership: Learn the invisible work that you do like leadership, where you are anticipating, and make decisions and communicate decisions, organizing family work and empowering others, within one of the most important groups you will ever be. Pause moments, too, when your efforts will lead to a feeling of growth, joy or security for your family.
Delegate strategically: Excellent leaders do not do everything, set priorities, empower others and pay attention to the highest impact tasks. More than trying to do this, seek delegate and teach modes, such as when children organize things, when age is appropriate or make decisions to decide to a partner. The results will not happen immediately, so this will patience and focus benefits from others from their new responsibilities.
Communicate and thank you: If you are in the relationship between partners, weekly examinations on responsibilities, especially invisible, can prevent resentment. I can see impressive. Write each invisible task in notes, and physically order, each partner can have the same number of cards. Recognize and express each other’s efforts, noticing progress on perfection. Children can also take advantage of this transparency, learning that it is a responsibility of a single person’s homework in homework.
Use technology to plan and organize: Using a shared digital calendar has appointments, events and activities on the same page, reducing the mental clutter to control everything.
Avoid decision fatigue: Parents make many decisions every day. To reduce mental overloads, set the default routine options (e.g., weekly lunch rotation), such as “Taco Tuesday planning / Food Purchasing Day) and take important decisions for your” best “hour.”
Priority Self-surveillance: Taking the little moments of a favorite pastime, a short walk, prayer / meditation or a quiet time can be recovered from the energy load that can be depleted from the invisible energy load that can be raw material for the first time. Building friends, family or parent groups of support, creates the output to share challenges and solutions. Self-care modeling teaches children the importance of health and well-being.
Recognizing and correcting the invisible family load is essential to maintain mental well-being mental and emotional well-being, promoting positive family dynamics and increasing the workplace. Recognizing these invisible tasks and taking proactive steps to manage them, you can create a balanced and full life for your family.
Julie Holliday Wayne was carried out with Maura Mills, Russell Matthews and Marilyn Whitman at the University of Alabama and the Asian business school Yi’s Wang. .
This is an opinion and analysis article, and the views indicated by the author or authors are not necessarily American scientific.
