“Make sure you are listening to what they need and adapt the PEP’s conversations with the specific anxiety they have,” Linden says.
Let’s say he feels shy to say his vows to everyone. So you can say: Hey, I read your vows and they are so beautiful. The groom will love them and I know that they will also move everyone to the crowd. Do you want to practice them once more before you go down the path?
Don’t save your PEP conversations about big things.
People often have more support and encouragement for the bigger challenges in life, such as conducting a marathon or starting therapy than for the smaller ones, says SKAGS.
So be a cheerleader for your loved ones in those daily moments, she says. If your friend mentions that next week they give a presentation to work and feel excited but also a little anxious, send them a text message to raise morality this week.
You can write: You will be great in your presentation. You are such a great public speaker and you have been shaking it for your work lately. Sending good vibrations in your way!
Little Pep speaks like these shows that you care and they can be as meaningful as you can talk about a larger number, Skaggs says.
The PEP talk should not include tips.
Let’s say your friend calls and tells you that their partner has just broken up with them. They cry and get very upset. What should you say?
Assess the situation. If it is clear that they are not looking for decisions, your PEP conversations can be in the form of “encouragement and evidence of the challenges they are going through,” Linden says. Can try Being an active listener and to do some Earthing exercises together.
Do not need to say “something revolutionary that man has never heard of before,” SCAGS says. Sometimes it can be soothing to simply remind them of what they already know is true. “
You may say: I know that what you are going through is really difficult and it hurts a lot at the moment, but I’m here for you.
Keep it simply.
“The PEP talk should not be something official that you spend a lot of time and thoughts,” says SKAGS.
It is perfectly good to write the words: “Don’t give up!” On a sticky note and glue it to the desk of a colleague trying to complete a big project. Or send a text message saying, “You’re doing great!” To a friend of Mom, who just gave birth.
And when it comes to giving yourself Pip’s talk, remember that “you don’t have to wear it right away,” says SKAGS. “Give yourself the same amount of grace, encouragement and forgiveness.”
This story was edited by Megan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We will be glad to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail on 202-216-9823 or send us an email to Lifekit@npr.org.
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