Six years after he loaded a rental truck with fireworks mortars and gas canisters before shooting himself in the head — an act he called a “wake-up” call to America in a memo later discovered by law enforcement — the army Master Sgt. Matthew Livelsberger told an ex-girlfriend he was spiraling.
“Sometimes I’m so hopeless and depressed it’s ridiculous,” he wrote, at one point describing a close-range shooting that killed two men.
“By far the worst of my life,” he wrote in 2018.
The violent New Year’s Day death of Livelsberger, a 37-year-old decorated war veteran and Green Beret, rekindles questions about the unique dangers military personnel, and especially special operations forces, face in their jobs and whether he is doing enough. made to identify members in crisis.
An investigator holds the damaged U.S. government identification of Matthew Livelsberger, 37, in Las Vegas, Nevada, on Jan. 2, 2025.
via Lvmpd/Reuters
Experts say the military has dramatically increased access to mental health help in recent years, but special operations forces remain particularly vulnerable, in part because they fear their careers will be derailed if they seek help.
SOF personnel are more often exposed to the types of severe mental trauma that can cause PTSD, as well They repeated the blows of high-powered weapons military officials suspect it causes brain scarring and other physical changes.
Acute stress and relationship problems can also play a role in a person’s deteriorating mental state. A 2020 study sponsored by the US Special Operations Command, which looked at the suicide deaths of 29 special operations personnel, found that nearly all had suffered emotional trauma during their first deployment. But considering other issues as well, the study found.
“A downward spiral involving relationship problems, financial problems and legal problems takes place over many years,” the report found, noting that there are usually “a large number of variables” involved.
In Livelsberger’s case, the Army will soon have to decide whether to contribute to his death during nine overseas deployments during his nearly two decades as a special forces soldier.
Enlisted by the Army in 2006 to train as a member of its special forces, Livelsberger became a member of the 10th Special Forces Group, which conducts counter-terrorism and training missions around the world. He was deployed five times to Afghanistan, and was in Ukraine, Tajikistan, Georgia and Congo.
Livelsberger was awarded five bronze stars, including a valor device for bravery under fire. He was also awarded the Army Commendation Medal for bravery.
His ex-girlfriend Alicia Arritt, who shared her text exchanges with Livelsberger with ABC News, said she remembered the Green Beret as funny, generous and kind and someone who loved children. He also enjoyed art, basketball and fast cars. He said he was not impulsive.
If the Army finds that his suicide was caused by his service and “in the line of duty,” Livelsberger’s survivors would receive greater benefits.
While an FBI investigation is underway, the Army says Livelsberger participated in a comprehensive treatment program for special operations forces called the “Force and Family Preservation” program, but there were no red flags. The program, called POTFF, includes “physical, cognitive, medical, and support resources for each individual.”
Livelsberger, who was stationed in Germany at the time, did not disclose “behavioral concerns” and was terminated from the workforce shortly before his death, a spokeswoman said.
“If our Soldiers need help, mental health treatment or someone to talk to, we encourage them to seek proactive behavioral health treatment on base or online. They also have the opportunity to talk to an Army chaplain,” Brig. General Amanda Azubuike, the Chief of Army Public Affairs, said in a statement.
Dr. Rachel Yehuda, a professor of psychiatry and trauma neuroscience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, said there are risk factors that seem to explain why some people are more vulnerable to PTSD than others.
This can include a person’s family history, exposure to trauma at a young age, and biological factors that can make it difficult for a person to “recalibrate” their nervous system after a traumatic event.
Yehuda, who is not involved in Livelsberger’s case and declined to discuss his particular situation, said the trauma that service members generally experience in combat can be especially difficult because it often happens overseas when service members are away from close family and friends. who can help That support system, he said, can be key to calming the nervous system.
“I think we need to understand that trauma is a real thing. And it can be really detrimental to mental health, especially if you’re not in an environment where people can help you deal with all the things you’re going through.” ” he said.
Fran Racioppi, a former officer with the 10th Special Forces Group who hosts a podcast about Green Berets and leadership, said the profile of a Green Beret soldier is unique, as someone capable of an “extreme level of compassion” to go to war and sustain it. the highest standards of war.
“Whenever we have an incident where a particular operator’s behavior deviates significantly from the standard profile, we need to understand the driver of that change and what factors are contributing to the complaint,” he said.
Racioppi said there are resources available to help workers like Livelsberger.
“But the first step will always be the operator’s self-assessment and willingness to ask for help,” he said.
The SOCOM-sponsored study, conducted by the American Association of Suicidology, found that at the time of its review, from 2012 to 2015, many employees were reluctant to raise their hand for fear of being ostracized, which was seen as suicide prevention training. “check the box”.
Livelsberger’s ex-girlfriend, Arritt, said she told him she was afraid of getting help because “it wouldn’t come out.”
Sara Wilkinson, suicide prevention advocate the army The SEAL husband died by suicide, he said, although PTSD may be prevalent in the military, it’s not an arbitrary label that can be used to describe everyone’s experience. Wilkinson’s husband, Chad, was found to have suffered a unique type of brain scarring found in other dead Navy SEALS.
Service members should also know their story in life can be incredibly resilient, he said.
“The point is you served. That has a price for our last 20-plus years” of war, he said. “And you owe it to yourself, your loved ones and your life to be your advocate physically and mentally.”
ABC News’ Alexandra Myers, Alex Stone, Matt Seyler and Luis Martinez contributed to this report.
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or are worried about a friend or loved one, call or write to the Suicide Squad & Crisis Lifeline 988 for free confidential emotional support, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
