In each semester, I wonder for students in my psychology how people would grow, think and play in a world Without the rules and expectations of society. The task seems simple, but the initial answers were similar to you A fish to say What happens if you like to live in the water. “What rules?” They ask. This is especially for young people like me, they never questioned messages explicitly, “boys don’t cry” and “Be a man“Before you go to college. A Revitalizing rigid masculinity-And as a psychologist examines these issues, I am more and more concerned frustrate healthy development Boys and young men.
My students pose this question based on research and others who did a couple years ago, seeing social norms, especially the vision of masculinity, which can fit people often in unidal forms. Like me previously indicated in Scientific American, Many boys and men feel pressure to be stereotypically masculine. This means, for example, having a hard pressure (physical and emotionally), able to solve things and power positions – “hegemonic masculinity”. These pressures are essentially rooted in human needs, such as men to give their families or simply being and accepted by others.
It is important that this pressure is a sort of masculine that can cause aggressive thinking and feelings, especially among Teenage boys and Young adult men those in thro to form a personality. For me, it’s not a bad or toxic masculinity. Rather, problems arise when the rigid masculinity is pressured in boys and men.
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In psychology, pressure It is antithesis autonomy-Or Basic human need to act in line with one’s true self. Therefore, it is to act for humanity for the reasons pressed “Fragile” masculine identities. Instead of having a healthy identity, rooted in authenticity and autonomy, the need for external validation of fragility. As a result, these boys and men feel compelled to be stereotypically means of proving their human being. We see the results of men’s disproportionate rates Gun violence, homophobia, Sexual attack, Political bigotry as well as Anti-environmental behaviorcompared to women.
Against, parents are a critical part of how the boys see themselves and how masculinity understand. With The rise of a “masculinity” It is more and more pressure, your parents can help develop the most extent identities. This is not about defonization as a group of masculinity or boys, but reduce the pressure to be a narrow man. Real and Merciful versions of masculinity It exists, and it’s okay for boys to take these paths. Arrival means conversation, modeling the desired behavior and tell us what man is in our own definitions. But it matters, because this pressure to join the narrow rules because it hurts the boys.
While we were collecting data about boys attack, we also surveyed parents, agree or agree to agree or agree, statements about current beliefs about masculinity. Some of these items had to be quite good beliefs, whether humans were useful, and some needed more consequences, such as beliefs about homophobia and gender difference.
Parents found beliefs about hegemonic masculinity related to feelings that their sons are stereotypically masculine; This is simply parents assumption That men had to be a situation and power of others, for feeling being pressured to be human. It is not surprising, then, when we questioned man, they answered the boys aggressively, especially when they were already Pubercaso’s throats.
These results tell us to grow boys in the human world: it is to emphasize living expectations. We know that Bullying Reportor close from peer groups. They tell us They have low self-esteem. About psychology in their book Gender relations between women and menLaurie Rudman and Pedro Glatick propose that societies are structured, mostly men (people in other genres) are located below them. To prove, look at government and businesses only in the US 27% of federal legislators, Fortune 500 percent of CEO 10 and 0% of the presidents They are women.
Immediately, what do these differences mean to girls, and as many girls do, girls receive messages even Arriving at the top, many boys hear require get to the top. It is certainly a double edge sword. Boys and men are power and privilege, but many are pressured Win and keep.
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In inspiring girls we’ve made big steps as boys as well as boys (and even better) -Recause there is still a lot of work, but so far we could not encourage boys to encourage Feminized cultural work and Common Careers Nursing, children’s care and areas of childhood education. Instead, in many capitalist cultures around the world, we continue to distract our boys remotely remotely away from Inherent feeding and care trends that they demonstrate in childhood, and that we (like society) have defined as success.
Redefining masculinity starts with you. Not all the expression or experiments of masculinity will be safe in your children, especially in certain areas of the world. (Eg, We found In the conservative parts of the US, parents put great pressure to masculine, masculinity rules can be rooted in fear of challenges.) But psychologist onnie rogers as psychologists noteBoys “in the opposite direction, we can encourage them to run in the opposite direction of the grain, and it is more important towards the whole of humanity,” which means that the idea of masculinity is worth it.
As you talk, play, observe and your sons through its paths, here are some ideas to consider, start as “four Rs”.
Realize that you can have these hard conversations; You can take and drive. Although your son will develop beyond your control, you have a great influence at the heart of your children Beliefs, values and world views. Sylvia Perry psychologist recently wrote in this very column how children and young people can manage Strong conversations about the race. They can also understand complex ideas, history and perspectives on the genre.
Reconsider Boys are sent messages (and not submit), explicitly and implicitly. Child Learn about gender In many ways summarized in summary of the correct teaching, experience and modeling. You may try to teach your boys to teach gender stereotypes and explicitly encourage you to participate in “femenine” activities; But arguably, it is more important to see what they learn and what they do in their world. It is essential that boys provide space apart from pressure to be masculine or Feminal – Nothing in itself plays wrong playing with trucks with trucks and the boys can defeat the goal of pressing more of their inclinations.
Endure In the sense of supplying the boys, who they should and should not have to deal with messages. Even the best schools sometimes fall into ancient troops like pink pink and blue pencils. If your son wants to use pink pencil, why the hell shouldn’t? New and exciting Research area How easy it is for boys is looking at the vegetarian, actively deal with masculinity rules and what benefits they can do.
Affirm The way society is not right now. For example, you can tell the boys despite being a woman who hasn’t been a woman, any It can be the president, regardless of their gender. Highlight women who are important companies and possibly more important men Ahed trades (Health care, premature education and home roles).
These will not be easy. There will be no good things. But as soon as possible from the beginning we can start gender gaps at all levels of society, the sooner we will see the expectations of the boys (and girls) to satisfy the expectations, and more meet the authenticity.
This is an opinion and analysis article, and the views indicated by the author or authors are not necessarily American scientific.
